Another internal voice, my Fighter - the indignant, I-can-do-anything, competitive one - immediately picked up. Who wouldn't want to read what I have to say?! I am the lark's song that awakens courage in other to live freely and fully. Who wouldn't want some of that?! Probably someone stupid and I'm not concerned with associating with stupid people anyway. Actually, someone will probably stumble on this blog, it will change their life, and they will discover the cure to cancer. Then they'll tell everyone it was all because of the inspiration from a blog post by Megan Gilmore, surely then I will win an award - maybe not a Pulitzer, but an award nonetheless!...How ridiculous!
So here's the deal. I know that I will change the world. I know that I already have. AND I know that I won't. I know that people will choose what they choose and God will be who He is. I know that I will live an intentional, full-out, adventurous, inspiring life. AND I know that I will waste it, watch mindless drivel, and eat lots of Sour Patch Kids. When I consider this, I come to the same conclusion that I try to remind my clients of over and over again. I cannot, nor do I desire to manage anyone else's behavior, thoughts, or motivations than my own. I am at choice over my own life and no one else's. I want to serve, inspire, awaken, and fulfill, but I do not want to spend my life controlling reactions and measuring responses.
So here's the other deal. I believe that everyone of us is creative, relational, and purposeful, and that we are most fulfilled when honoring that. I'm trying to honor my own creativity this year, by growing in it. I think that I've spent plenty of time "naval-gazing" at my own uniqueness, and now it's time to put it to work through the beautiful oozy mess of creativity. The book I'm reading right now by Patti Digh, Creativity is a Verb (2011), has been wonderful for me! Right now, she is challenging the reader to "put down your clever and pick up your ordinary." She says,
"We keep ourselves out of our creative spirit by trying to be smart, to know, to be clever and 'with it' and anticipate the answer that 'Teacher' wants - whether that is an actual teacher, or a boss, or a partner [...] We are at our most potent at our most ordinary, but we can't see it. Because it's our ordinary, we believe it's everyone's ordinary."
So if you're wondering what this blog is about, I cannot tell you much but say that it is my ordinary and I am excited to share it with you. Because in my ordinary is brilliance and power and insanity and weakness, and through it I will "proclaim the excellencies Him who called me out of darkness and into his marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9b).
What would it look like if you showed up without your clever? On a scale of 1-10, how much courage would it take to show up as ordinary to your next "big deal"?